Sunday, October 11, 2009

Differences Between Conservatives and Liberals


Click on cartoon to enlarge.

Clear

Anyone out there still unsure about what conservatives and liberals believe? Neal Boortz shared some very clear and humorous guidelines last week:

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black or Hispanic is conservative, he sees himself as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders how his governement is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced, unless it's a foreign religion, of course!

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll copy it to his friends so they can have a
good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

I hope you are smiling!

3 comments:

  1. I'm smiling! Oh, how true those statements are...or seem, I should say, since I always get creamed by liberals for "generalizing!" Come to think of it, in their insisting that I make a point not to generalize kind of proves this whole thing is true, huh? Ok. It's true! It's true!

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  2. Looks about right to me!

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